lunes, 5 de febrero de 2018

Un Verano Fatal (English Translation)

I hope you´ll like this OS and this short view of Leah´s brain.
Hugs!
* The song for this OS is “Un verano fatal” by Christina Rosenvinge and Nacho Vegas, and It is worth looking for and listening to it although the lyrics are in Spanish.
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A Fatal Summer
We don´t have to hide, someone will find us
Always doing the wrong thing is a way to get it right
The morning picks us up where the city dies
I looking for your strength
And you for my weakness
Today is hotter and you have me trapped
In your corner
Who could imagine what was going to bring us
A fatal summer.
Verano Fatal / Christina Rosenvinge y Nacho Vegas

Leah POV
I got up panting from the effort to free myself and another drop of sweat ran down the back of my nape, slid down my neck, and got lost in my back. The heat was overwhelming and a complete anomaly for the Olympic Peninsula, and my body, accustomed to the cold and the rain, was not taking well this warm wave that did nothing but confirm that the whole world was going to hell.

All summer had been the same, wave after wave of heat, with unusual reports of forest fires and even a statistical "drought" unprecedented for the State of Washington... Agh, shit! When everything stinks, the heat only makes it worse. The sensibilities go to the surface and at this point few are those who dare to speak to me, because literally, I bark at everyone just because, and just in case.
Good for me, that's how they leave me in peace, since I'm tired of the looks of sympathy and commiseration, as if I wasn´t fucking over with this subject!
I was furious. Not only my normal level of anger, but my revolutions had accelerated to thermonuclear levels... No, frankly I couldn´t even cope with this situation as a human, I needed the wolf and its pragmatism, I needed my animal side and maybe to kill something, destroy it with my teeth... Curiously it seemed that the human Leah was more bloodthirsty than the wolf.
How dare Emily ask me something like that? Who the fuck did she think she was talking to? Did she think that because I am now part of Jacob's pack all the resentments have been left behind? And Sam, what was in his head? How had he allowed his precious bride to approach me with such a proposal? And then that horrible conversation...
Agh... Run away Leah, run away before you kill someone...
I ran out of my cousin's house, or else I would shift and the consequences for her would be worse than the pair of scars that marked her prudish face.
Why is it that no one sees Emily for who she really is? Everyone falls for with the facade, the image of a sweet and shy girl, victim of a terrible accident, a devote housewife who spent the days with her head in the oven, cooking those disgusting cantaloupe size muffins.
How come they do not see that she is a prissy traitor, a liar and a manipulator? How is it that nobody questions the point that despite the fact that the Imprint pushes the wolf to become what its imprint needs, she had "needed" to take the groom off her cousin and best friend? Emily could have kept Sam as a friend if she had wanted it... They could have been like brothers if their loyalty to me would have mattered, but no, nobody saw that reality... Emily had wanted Sam for years without him noticing, but at the first opportunity, as soon as she understood the power she had over him, she used it to snatch my man away.
She knew that we loved each other. She knew of our plans to get married as soon as Sam got a steady job. She knew how many children we wanted to have... Shit! She even knew the names we would call them! Because she was, next to Sam, the person closest to me, the one who knew all of my secrets, in a few words, the person in whom I would blindly entrust my life.
That's why I didn’t see it when it happened... Maybe I refused to believe it, until it was too late...
Samuel was acting weird, but I tried to be mature and not push him, I give him the space to process whatever was happening with him and tell me when he felt more comfortable... Excellent idea, except that it was then that the "accident" happened, while she was ordering Sam not to speak to me ever again, because he was having difficulties accepting all that mess of being a wolf and imprinting on a woman he didn’t love...
If only Samuel would have told me what was happening! I don´t know what I would have done, maybe kill the bitch at sight... Grrrrr... The thing is that Sam revolted against her orders to leave me, lost control only a fraction of a second, and sealed his fate... He had damaged his imprint, and the guilt didn’t let him live in peace. If he ever had any chance to fight for me, it died in that moment of decontrol.
Samuel ended things with me immediately and without explanations, and the following week he was already living in the house of my former best friend, destroying me completely, humiliating me in front of the entire Tribe, and rubbing his new love in my face.
Losing my boyfriend… Well, that was very painful and quite devastating, but worse than that was having to face it alone, since my cousin was the one who stabbed the second dagger in my back.
The hurt I felt was frightening, but in retrospect I think that what suffered the most was my pride. The faces of all my acquaintances (and several strangers) showing solidarity and compassion did more harm than the betrayal itself... I wanted to hit them all! I wouldn’t allow Samuel and my cousin's offense to defeat me, they wouldn’t see me cry, and no one would see me fall apart, ever.
And that's how I created this armor of what I am today. That sarcastic and scathing bitch that everyone fears and avoids, but that no one would dare to condole.
And that brings us to the present...
Grrrr! I wanted to run until I collapsed, so that I didn’t have enough energy to fulfill my desire to pluck the head of the future Mrs. Uley.
- "Leah" - The deep and hoarse voice of my Alpha sounded in my mind.
I ignored it and kept running.
- "Leah!" - He exclaimed.
I forced myself to ignore it and kept running. As long as he didn’t give me a direct order, I could send him to hell as much as I wanted, one of the many perks of belonging to the Second Pack... Jacob hated to break the will of others, something Sam didn’t have problems with as soon as things didn´t go exactly as he wanted.
- "LEAH!" - Jacob yelled in my head, which somehow deconcentrated me making me less aware of my surroundings. That would explain why I didn’t see the reddish stain that was pouncing on me, making me roll on the floor, dressing me with the vegetal mantle of leaves and twigs that covered everything around us.
Fuck! Just to think on how difficult it was to untangle my hair after a good race!
I generally make an extra effort to not look like a savage as a human, because my character is already acid enough to intimidate people.
- "Shit Jacob! What are you doing?" - I asked trying to get up, but his body is much bigger and heavier, and he is my Alpha, so my fight was useless.
- "I tried to talk to you but you didn’t answer" - He said nibbling my neck, so as to assure my submission. As humans it would have been a romantic or sensual gesture, but as wolves it was simply a gesture of dominance.
- "And what the hell makes you believe that now I want to talk to you?" - I asked staying still, but attentive to the first opportunity to escape. Of course, as soon as I thought about it, Jacob learned of my intentions and secured his position.
- "I found out about Sam and Emily" - He told me, simply.
- "What did you find out?" - I asked suddenly terrified to trigger his compassion, but trying to sound indifferent.
- "That they finally put a date to the wedding, that's why I wanted to know how you are ..." - He said softly.
- "You can see it in my mind, you know perfectly well how I am" - I replied trying to avoid his gaze. Jacob had grown and matured a lot in the past years, thanks to everything he had suffered in the hands of that moronic Bella Swan and her unnatural spawn from hell.
- "I know you're furious and obfuscated, but I don’t want to read your mind Leah, I want you to tell me how you feel... I thought you had already overcome the issue, I didn’t think it would affect you so much, after all this is something that we all knew that would happen... "- He explained softly - "But you're so furious that you worry me, I don’t want you to do something stupid..."
- "I'm not angry about the wedding, Jacob" - I said snorting, offended - "I'm angry because Emily had the nerve to ask me to be her fucking maid of honor!"
- "Whaaaat?" - Jacob exclaimed, so astonished that I used the opportunity to escape his grip and locate myself several feet away, out of his reach - "Did she really do that? And did you told Sam? Surely he would have prevented it..."
- "It wasn’t necessary to tell him anything, he was there, watching the show while sitting at the kitchen table eating meatloaf, without saying a goddamned word" - I said remembering in detail the scene to portrait it to Jacob.
- "I can´t believe it... He knows that that is twisting the knife in the wound... I don´t understand it..." - Said Jacob sitting down on his hind legs and looking downright confused. He looked like a big dog, like "Clifford", not an Alpha wolf, and the word "adorable" pass through my mind. It is true that my outer shell remained impenetrable, but inside there was a small part of me that remained unscathed despite of all the suffering... It was a tiny piece of me that reminded me of the girl I was before the supernatural shit ruined my life... It was a piece that I hid from everyone except Seth and Jacob.

- "I understand it perfectly, in fact I don´t know why it surprised me so much at the moment... Firstly, Emily has no family other than mine in the Tribe, and her friends live in the Macah Tribe, so it is not like she has many options, I am her closest relative... Also, what better way to definitely claim Sam than giving me a preferential view to witness the union? And finally, I believe she thinks that if she manages to publicly show that I forgave her, maybe the rest of the Tribe won´t see her as the slut who steals boyfriends that she really is "- I said leaning back in the shadow of a large oak tree. Near the trunk moss moisture was preserved and relieved a little the heat.
-"The imprint is crap" - Jacob said - "I'm sure Sam would have never allowed something like that to happen if he had a choice"
-"Frankly I'm not so sure" - I said making a gesture equivalent to shrugging shoulders - "You never became a huge imbecile like Sam. Despite having imprinted, you retained part of yourself, and that makes me think that Sam is weaker than I thought. "
- "My case was different" - He said recovering the serious tone of the conversation - "Ness was a baby when I imprinted, there were no romantic feelings, only my need to protect her, and once she grew enough to manifest her desires, it was clear that she sees me as her cousin or her uncle, not as a boyfriend, which is really a relief, I can’t help thinking that no matter how old she looks physically, she's only two and a half years old, and even I cannot ignore that that is extremely bizarre... I can’t imagine the conflict that would generate me if she wanted me as a lover... "- He said shuddering.
-"Anyway, at least you still have limits and principles" – I argued - "Sam not only hurt me, but allowed Emily to feast with my pain" - I said pushing a pile of dirt and leaves with my front leg - "And worst of all... "- I hesitated before telling him the last part of what happened. Jacob wouldn’t tear it out of my memory, I could choose to shut up, but if I didn’t tell my Alpha, then whom? Seth was not an option, my little brother would launch on a suicide mission to protect "my honor", and Sam is perfectly capable of killing him with a leg tied behind his back.
-"What's worse Leah? What happened?" - Jacob said approaching slowly, with his eyes down, in a pose deliberately innocuous, but equally imposing.
-"When I left Emily's house I left her without allowing her to finish her proposal, and I ran to the forest in human form" - I related and he nodded, leaning next to me so that our bodies were touching all along. The comfort of the touch of the members of my Pack was one of the few certainties in my life. I didn´t cared about the heat, I needed the silent and unconditional support of my Pack more than anything else.
-"Until then, I saw everything in your mind" - He said softly.
-"…Sam followed me" - I said very quietly, taking care not to break the voice of our mental communication. It was one thing to tell what happened and quite another to cry like a baby. Jacob started to growl very loudly, interrupting me - "Can I continue?" - I asked. He nodded but continued to growl, this time lower, like a hostile purr or something like that.
-"Continue" - He finally told me.
-"Sam tackled me as soon as I entered the forest, before shifting, making me roll on the ground and imprisoning my arms to avoid my transformation" - I related (some time ago we discovered that if a certain wrestling hold is applied to a wolf that is on the verge of shifting, the process stops, because otherwise the arms would be disjointed in four different places. It is used in extreme cases, because it is extremely painful and is a gesture of very aggressive dominance).
- "That son of a bitch..." - Jacob murmured seeing the scene in my mind as I related it.
- "I told him to go fuck himself, of course, but I had no choice but to listen to what he had to say" – I growled in rage and humiliation.
- "What did he wanted?" - Jacob asked emanating strong feelings of anger and possessiveness that I had never perceived from him. My Alpha is usually quite relaxed, but apparently that wasn´t the case if someone touched a member of his Pack.
I didn’t want to narrate the situation with my mental voice, because I didn´t trusted myself to stay unbroken until the end, so I just showed him the scene.
oooOooo
- "Leave me Samuel!" - I demanded stirring, trying to free myself. The effort to not shift when endangered was tremendous and painful, and the grip of Sam implacable.
-"Leeh, listen to me, I don´t want to hurt you, but I need you to understand me..."- He said sounding frantic.
-" Samuel, It's been years since you had anything to say, just leave me alone! What do you want from me? What else can you want from me? Because I guess you're not stupid enough to think that I'm really going to be the bridesmaid of your wedding... " - I raised an eyebrow. Our faces were dangerously close, but instead of producing the familiar butterflies at the base of my stomach, it created something akin to disgust. This was not the man I fell in love with when I was a child, this man was pathetic, a coward who didn´t deserve my love, or even my hate.
-"No! " – He exclaimed - "Of course not, Leeh!" - He said surprised, as if it was a ridiculous idea he was listening for the first time.
-"Don't call me "Leeh"" - I said with clenched teeth.
-"You will always be my Leeleeh..." - He muttered sadly.
-"I don´t know what you're talking about, but if you don´t let me go at this moment I'm going to shift and make you shreds, and I don´t care if you break a couple of my bones in the process" – I said, completely serious.
-"Listen to me!" – He exclaimed/demanded repositioning himself over me. We were much closer than I felt comfortable, much closer than we had been in years - "God, your scent!" - He said taking a deep breath, burying his face in my neck.
-"Let me go, you pervert! " - I growled quietly. I couldn´t risk screaming and someone seeing us.
-"Leeh... Leah... I love you so much..." - He said against my skin leaving me in one piece. It was the last thing I expected to hear.
-"What the hell are you talking about, Samuel? Remember that you're going to marry my bitch of a cousin!" - I shook in rage, with no other effect than to generate friction between our bodies.
-"I can´t anymore... I can´t anymore... The closer the date approaches, the more doubts I have..." - He confessed pathetically.

-"Then don´t marry her" - I said without inflection - "Or marry anyway, what you do is your business"
-"Don't say that Leeh, I know you care, I know you love me... How could you stop loving me, if in spite of the imprint I never stopped loving you?" - He said in my ear. My head was spinning, that's what I expected to hear for months, years! My only wish, my only wish... But now, these were just hollow words...
-"Then what? " - I asked without revealing emotions - "Are you going to leave Emily?" - Would I be able to take him back?
-"No! " – He exclaimed - "I mean, I can´t, I need her..." - He added, quickly.
-"Okaaay... " - I said macerating my fury like an underground lava channel. How dare he come to me and force me to listen to his ridiculous and useless statement if he didn´t intend to do anything about it? " - So what is your bright idea? What do you propose?"
-"I love you Leeleeh, I didn´t think I could tell you, but I did!" - He said happily - "Emily's instructions are usually quite specific..."
-"If you're not going to leave Emily then what, you want me to be your mistress?" - I had to control myself to not to leap forward and pluck his ear with my teeth.
-"No..." – He said again, sad - "Emily would never allow it, and I cannot lie to her..."
-"Samuel, I have only one question and if you love me as you say you do, you will tell me the truth" - I said reaching the edges of my limited patience.
-"Tell me!" - He said anxious to please me. This was the longest conversation we had had in years.
-"Remember Jason, the bartender from Port Angeles with whom I went out a couple of times?"
-"Yes" - He said, and a low, deep growl emanated from his chest.
-"He suffered a bizarre accident, nobody knows exactly what happened to him, but he ended up in the hospital... After that he didn´t want to see me again... Something similar happened with other guys I dated after him... Strange accidents and then they never called me again... Does it sound familiar? " - I asked. He remained silent, but kept my gaze, defiant - "Samuel, were you…?" - I asked what I never wanted to put into words - "You've been hitting any guy who has the potential to become my boyfriend, haven´t you?"
-"You're mine," he growled in a barely human voice. Now it was he who was about to lose control and shift.
-"MOTHERFUCKER!" - I screamed furiously, raising my knee with all my strength, aiming at his crotch and hitting the target squarely. Sam looked at me from the ground, writhing in pain and his face full of bewilderment and disappointment - "YOU BETTER NEVER DARE TO TALK TO ME AGAIN, SAMUEL ULEY!" - I shouted - "OR THE NEXT TIME, THE ONE WHO IS GOING TO DEAL WITH YOU IS EMILY!"
-"Leeh! " - He gasped agonizing, I don´t know if for his heart or his balls.
-"Leah you son of a bitch, my name is Leah! " - I growled and I removed my sundress, throwing it to his side and ignoring his look, that seemed to want to memorize every corner of my body. I guess I'm not as he remembered anymore, because before I was human, and softer and rounder, less muscular, less angular.
I really didn´t care about my nudity, not even in front of him. We are shifters and this is what we do. Modesty is a matter of the past.
Once finished my transformation, I ran at full speed. I ran trying to escape my thoughts, I ran so that my anger with Emily for her insensitivity and malice would go away, and with Sam for his simple stupidity. Is he really waiting me to stay an old maid, waiting for him with my life in pause while he builds something, even if it's something mediocre with no other than my own cousin?
Should I spend my life in solitude just because he doesn´t have the cojones to make a firm decision and stick to it? Fuck it! The next time I like a guy, I'll see to it that Sam is the last to know, and when he finds out, I'll protect him... Better yet, I'll look for someone who can protect himself, and then buy weapons, piles of weapons and bears traps, and even rocket launchers if necessary, and if Samuel shows up, he´ll have it coming.

oooOooo
- "I'm sorry Leah" - Jacob said softly, pushing me on the shouder with his nose.
-"What are you sorry about?" - I asked sighing - "You didn´t do anything wrong..."
- "I'm sorry you're not happy" - He said - "Everyone seems to have reached their happy ending except for us"
- "What are you going to do?" - I asked rhetorically - "It's not like you can erase the past and start from scratch."
- "I could kick Sam's ass to start..." - He offered excitedly.
-"It's not worth it" - I said, shrugging my shoulders and resting my nose on the grass, between my front legs.
-"You are worth it" - He corrected me.
-"I don´t mean it like that" - I said rolling my eyes - "What I'm saying is that we don´t want a new conflict between The Packs... Think about it, Jacob, if you beat up Sam...
- "...When I beat up Sam…" - He corrected me, confident.
- "... When you beat Sam" – I rectified - "He is going to lose authority in front of his Pack and instinctively all his wolves are going to follow you... I'm bored and tired of babysitting, and I don´t want to start again with a lot of brats in puberty hanging around in my head"
We were in a comfortable silence, Jacob studying my words to see if he could find a way to kick Sam's ass without claiming his wolves, and I just enjoyed the fresh grass and the company of who was without doubt and despite myself, my best friend.
- "I can´t think, I´ll die of a heat shock" - He said after a while - "Let's go swimming"
- "Swim?" - I asked hesitantly.
- "Swim" - He nodded - "Come on, don´t force me to give you an order!"- He said getting excited again. He stood up and nibbled my back playfully before running off in the general direction of the ocean.
I followed him immediately, running by his side.
We ran several kilometers at full speed through the forest, jumping obstacles and challenging each other, until suddenly the forest ended, giving rise to a high cliff that faced directly to the ocean.
Jacob didn´t hesitated, and he rushed to the void in his animal form and fell into the water as a human, making a perfect dive.
For my part, I'm brave but not stupid or suicidal, so I shifted before jumping into the water, doing my whole dive as a human.
The water was freezing, and the contrast with the outside was delicious. I emerged and looked everywhere, but Jacob was nowhere to be seen. I assumed he was diving or something like that, because wolves are pretty hard to kill, so instead of looking for him, I just floated on my back, enjoying the water, the sun, and the sounds of nature.
But after a couple of minutes, something grasped my right leg firmly by the ankle, and pulled me to the bottom. While my first instinct was to fight to get out, I realized that it was only Jacob playing, and that he would never hurt me, so I left my body go limp and I closed my eyes, moving with the weaves, as if I had drowned.
Immediately I felt two strong arms surrounding me and pulling me to the surface.
-"Leah, Leah, are you okay?" - He asked frantically, shaking me by the shoulders.
I pretended to cough and I spat a lot of water on his face, baffling him so much that I couldn´t help but laugh.
-"You're Ok?" - He asked still without letting me go. I could feel his warm body against mine, and suddenly I became very aware of our closeness and nakedness...
This was not like other times, this was not a casual touch or part of an interaction as wolves... No, we were embraced and naked, surrounded by miles and miles of unspoiled nature... Nobody saw us, nobody listened to us...
We rocked to the rhythm of the waves for a few moments, he kicked just enough to keep us afloat, and he looked at me... I mean, he really looked at me.
-"You're Ok? " - He repeated in a very hoarse voice, almost whispering.
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
I could feel his body begin to react to mine ... His powerful erection against my hip, his hands encircling my waist more firmly, possessively, confidently.
-"Are you cold?" - He asked, and his breath washed my face. He always smelled good. I assumed that it had something to do with being the Alpha, since he somehow represented our home for all of us, but at that moment I understood that it was not a homelike or comforting feeling that Jacob woke up in me, but one of anxiety and possessiveness... I wanted to bite him, mark him as mine, and for a moment I was about to do it, until I realized that it would be crazy... It wasn´t correct because he was not mine to claim...

I shook my head.
-"Are you sure? " - He asked with a mischievous smile, looking down. I followed his gaze until I found my breasts brushing his chest. My nipples were perfectly erect, and hard as pebbles.
I felt that I was flushing, which rarely happens to me, but I didn´t allow myself to be embarrassed by my physical reactions. There is nothing more honest than an involuntary reaction, I told myself.
I looked up defiantly and slipped a hand from his forearm to his waist, pulling him closer to me.
-"Does it bother you?" - I asked drawing circles on the lower part of his back.
He shook his head, sliding his hand from my waist to my ass, slowly, deliberately, giving me every opportunity to back down... Which couldn´t be further from my plans...
-"Jacob...!" - I gasped when he covered one of my buttocks with his hand, squeezing and pressing me against his sex.
-"Do you want me to stop?" - He asked putting his forehead on my shoulder and taking pressure off his grip, but not letting go.
-"No... Don´t stop" - I said turning my face to find his and once we were a couple of inches away, I closed my eyes and gave him a soft, tentative kiss.
God! His mouth was perfect! It had the right texture, the flavor and even the exact temperature, it was... He was like me... It never occurred to me to date a wolf, not after the catastrophe with Sam, but considering my disastrous sequence of relationships made out of a couple of dates with weak humans with whom I had to control my strength, my wolf and my character...
Agh!
I don´t know how long we kissed, I assume a long time, because when we emerged we gasped breathlessly and our lips were red.
Jacob put his forehead against mine, still agitated, and kissed the tip of my nose.
A gesture so simple and sweet... No one had had a gesture of tenderness for me, and I was surprised.
-"I like you, Leah Clearwater" - He stated firmly.
-"You don´t have to say anything..." - I said suddenly uncomfortable.
-"I like you, Leah Clearwater" - He repeated - "All of you, woman and wolf, I like you"
-"Jacob... " - I complained trying to put distance between us.
-"All of you, except for this" - He corrected himself - "I don´t like it when you refuse to receive affection... You are intelligent, sarcastic, capable and independent..."
-"Your ideal woman, I´m just like Swan!” – I huffed mockingly, I don´t know why, and I wanted to bite my poisonous tongue immediately.
-"Exactly the opposite of Bella "- He said without getting upset - "You're not a damsel that needs to be rescued, you kick your ass, and you have a vocabulary dirtier than a pirate!"
-"Jacob, I don´t think ..." - I mumbled.
-"No, I don´t want your excuses, I want to know if you like me, not all the reasons why it would be wrong if you did... Leah, do you want to try it out?" – He asked.
I looked into his eyes and saw no malice or mockery in his eyes... Only sincerity, warmth, and something else... Could it become love?
Was there a chance of love for me?
Just the possibility felt amazing...
I wouldn’t know if I didn´t take a risk ... Who did I trust the most? Who did I respected the most? Who did I go to in case anything happened? Like when my Mom fell in the kitchen, or Seth had that stupid accident with Collin, or when that guy tried to...
Jacob
Always Jacob.
Jacob in my life.
Jacob in my arms.
Jacob in my bed?
-"Yes" - I said simply, in a fit of courage.
-"Just like that? " - He asked smiling slightly, lifting my chin with a pair of fingers.
-"Yes, I want to try" - I forced myself to say, slowly. Opening up and putting myself in a vulnerable position were not my favorite activities, but I understood the need to do so.
-"You are going to be my girlfriend?" - He laughed raising his eyebrows.
-"Don't make me regret it, Black" - I warned him, getting angry.
-"There is not an option of regret or backing down, Clearwater" - He said taking my buttocks with both hands and lifting me so that my legs were around his waist. Our sexes were dangerously close, but he made no gesture, simply surrounded me completely with his arms and sighed - "Mmmmmh, this is how I wanted to have you..." - He said running his nose through my clavicle. I buried my fingers in his hair and closed my eyes. Was this real? Was it possible that a real, decent, honest man who knew all my secrets could not only accept me but love me?
There was room for tenderness and affection and caresses and games? Could I have it all?
Jacob... Jacob for me... If I dared, who knows? Maybe I could be happy...
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I hope you liked it, this one is over, but we´ll continue reading each other in “Be Mine”!

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