Be Mine (English Translation) 3

Hi, I hope you like this one, where we´ll find out how does Bella feels about everything that´s happening.

Once more, I remind you that I´m not a pro translator, so I´ll ask for some patience with my mistakes, and please feel free to point them out.

Hugs.

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Chapter 3

Skillet on the stove
It's such a temptation
Maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesn't get burnt
What the fuck was I thinking?

Love is so embarrassing
I'm this awkward and uncomfortable thing
I'm running out of places to hide it
I'm running out of places to hide it
What the fuck was I thinking?

What the fuck was I / Jenny Owens Youngs

BELLA POV

Paul and Sam leaved the house and my mixed feelings got worse. On one hand I felt relieved of not been under Paul´s intense stare anymore. But on the other hand I missed his presence immediately, a fact that on itself was pretty disturbing considering that I hated that guy.

-How do you feel, Bella? – Asked Emily.

-Confused – I admitted before thinking on what I was saying. For the first time I noticed a set of scars on the right half of Emily´s face. They were well covered with makeup, but still remained evident to anyone paying a bit of attention.

I decided to ignore them completely; she must have hated the gawks of strangers, and even more the invasive questions that undoubtedly would generate that wound.

If she wanted me to know, she would tell me herself.

-I can imagine, you were just attacked by a vampire! – She exclaimed.

-Oh, mmmmmmh,sure, yeah, that too… - I mumbled blushing when I realized the implications of my verbal diarrhea.

-Green tea, Ceylon, chamomile? – She asked trying to hide her smile. She had caught the unspoken implications of my words perfectly…

-Green tea please – I mumbled.

-Brownie? – She offered signaling a big tray filled with a pyramid of brownies the size of a small bricks.

-Yes, thank you Emily, you’re very kind and you don´t even know me… – I commented in autopilot grabbing one of the mega brownies.

-Such good manners, I hope you can rub them into Paul… - She said hopefully.

-I have no intentions of expending any amount of time with that energumen, so he will hardly get the chance to rub anything on me or me on him – I said annoyed by my own conflicted emotions towards him.

-Oh… Right… They haven’t talked to you yet… - She sighted disappointed. 

-And they aren´t gonna do it either. I don´t care what they have to say – I said biting a big chunk of my brownie – Sorry Emily – I added - I know you love Sam, but I have to protect Jake… He´s just… He doesn´t want to be a part of this.

-None of them wants this Bella, but is their destiny, it’s who they are, and the only thing we can do is to support them, to keep them human, to help them to control the wolf, and comfort them when the load of their responsibility becomes too overwhelming… It´s a weight too big for a man to carry alone… They need a strong woman by their side, you see? - She said passionately. Was she talking about Jake and me? Would I be capable to become a strong woman for Jake? Somehow I doubted it… Our relationship´s dynamic was stablished long ago: I was week and needy and he was strong and resourceful, always.

-Oh Emily, I would have never guessed things were so complicated for you! I mean, for the wolves yeah, but I didn´t though about what it was like for their partners… - I said frowning. I usually was more sensitive and aware of other´s people feelings, but my head was full of thoughts about certain insanely hot guy I saw naked earlier that day - Although now that I think about it, of course it must be hard! I mean… You live with a freaking werewolf! Sorry for acting so immature, lately I haven´t been much in control of my emotions and I just talk without thinking – I apologized for my rudeness.

-It´s Ok Bella, for you is not gonna be any easier, that’s why Paul brought you here, because he knows that you can count on me when things get difficult… There´s no manual to deal with werewolves, you know?

-And what does he care if I can deal or not? He hates me and I hate him back! – I exclaimed as a declaration for Emily and myself.

-Paul doesn’t hate you Bella, he just doesn´t know how to treat you… And for what I could gather, I don´t think you hate him either – She smiled irradiating complicity and mirth.

I blushed again. The truth was, even though Paul was undoubtedly a huge asshole, his intensity, his rough and unapologetic character, and even his insanely great looks, made him the incarnation of a bad boy… Something so distant to what he used to represent… Paul was tempting and dangerous, and I was going through a phase totally pro-danger.

As grandpa Swan used to say (when grandma wasn´t listening), “Christ on a coupon, was I a moron?”

Damn him if he didn´t produced certain... Things… Reactions… When he hugged me in the meadow. His heat enveloped me fully just like Jake´s did, but differently at the same time. Jake was mi friend, my younger brother. Paul was older, more experienced and definitely didn´t stir fraternal feelings on me.

Anyways… My body was probably waking from its long hibernation, but my mind was clear and knew that even thinking in Paul was the equivalent of an emotional suicide, especially with his reputation… Even in my school there where girls that had gone out with him once or twice just to be discarded and never contacted again. The guy was some kind of man-whore, and getting involved with him was the equivalent of liking a petri dish culturing god knows what varieties of germs, viruses and bacteria. Ewww! Gross!

Tempting, yeah, but still disgusting… In theory.

-Bella? Are you still with me? – Asked Emily.

-Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts… - I said sipping my tea.

-Good thoughts I supposed? You were smiling – She said lifting an eyebrow.

-Yeah? I didn´t notice – I responded playing with my brownie´s crumbs – Emily, I have to go – I said suddenly - I´m sorry but I can´t wait for Paul and Sam…Charlie will be waiting for me and I haven´t done anything for dinner… But tell them that tomorrow after school I´ll come and talk with Sam if that´s what they want. Jake has my numbers.

-Are you sure that´s what you want? – She asked. I nodded – Well, it was a pleasure to meet you Bella, this is your house, feel free to come anytime – She said hugging me warmly.

Only after I left Emily´s house I remembered that my truck was still in the forest, which gave me the perfect excuse to go to Jacob´s house. I hoped that Emily didn´t come to the same realization.

I ran all the way, tripping and falling a couple of times, but I didn’t care. I wanted to see my best friend before Paul or Sam could stop me. Jake needed me, of that I was sure.

I knocked at Jake´s door several times without an answer. Then I tried the doorknob, and as usual, it wasn’t secured. In the Reservation no one bothered with looking their houses, because everyone knew each other and in consequence they practically didn´t had delinquency to worry about.

-Jake? – I called. No answer. So, I walked right into his bedroom and there he was, sprawled in his bed, half naked and huge, snoring softly.

I didn´t wanted to wake him up, but time was an issue and I really needed to talk with him.

-Jake – I said caressing his cheek. He moved and mumbled my name, but didn´t come around.

I opted for shaking his shoulder, which left me in front of him, a few inches from his face – Jake!

-Bells – He murmured smiling, looking into my eyes, his warm breath enveloping my senses, making me inhale deeper. Jake always smelt so good.

And then I blushed, as usual. I was so socially inept… Always reddening in the worst moments.

-Hi Jake – I said straitening myself.

-What are you doing here? – He said waking suddenly, worried – You can´t be here!

-Easy Jake, I know everything… I know you´re a wolf, and I know is not your fault, and it´s Ok by me… I love you Jake, please don´t push me away – I begged.

-I won´t Bells, but what about Sam…? – He asked obviously conflicted between feeling hopeful or worried.

-Fuck Sam! He doesn’t know anything about us and he doesn´t have any right to mess with our private businesses! – I said exuding confidence. From where that confidence came from, I don´t know.

-Did you really talked with Sam? – He raised an eyebrow – You don´t seem to know how things work, Bells – He said sitting next to me.

-Talk… Scream... Insult… Who can tell the difference? – I said sheepishly – I mostly screamed at Paul anyways, I wasn´t with Sam long enough to give him a peace of my mind, but wait until tomorrow…!

-Insult? Scream? Bella, Sam is the leader of the pack and he´s the one that gives the orders around… Actually he is the current Chief of the Tribe! – Exclaimed Jake in shock.

-Ups… The thing is… I escaped Emily´s house before they could talk calmly with me… - I confessed - Jake, I need you to give me a ride home… My truck is in the woods…

-How? Why? What were you doing in the woods? I know Charlie prohibited… – He lectured.

 -Long story… - I interrupted, sighted, and proceeded to tell him everything, from my hope to find the meadow, to my encounter with Laurent, Paul´s appearance, Laurent´s dismemberment, and finally the trip to Emily´s and Paul´s rude treatment, handling me as if I was a package of meat or a bag of cement, and I finished with my conversation with Emily.

By the time that I was done, Jake was trembling violently.

-Jake… What is it? – I asked trying to touch his hand.

-Bella, get out of the house! - Screamed Sam while he and Paul abruptly entered the room, filling the space with their large frames and making me feel a little bit claustrophobic. Paul took me from the waist and pressed me to his body, turning us partially to position himself between Jake and me.

-Let her go! – Roared Jake.

-Easy Jacob you don´t want to hurt Bella – Said Sam calmly with a low voice, emanating a strange authority.

-Jake would never hurt me! – I screamed fighting Paul´s grip.

-Paul, take her out now! – Ordered Sam.

Jake started vibrating even harder and Paul literally drag me out of the house… Even from the outside I could hear clearly the sounds of fabric tearing, things breaking and growling… Lots of growling.

Before I could say anything Paul was carrying me bride style, much gentler than before, running to the other side of town through the forest.

-Paul let me go, I have to go and see Jake! – I demanded fighting his grip.

But he ignored me and didn´t stop until we got to a small wooden house.

-Paul, Jake! Let me return! – I said almost crying – He needs me!

-Jacob is fine, Sam is dealing with him and there´s no way in hell you´re getting in the middle of that mess! – He exclaimed, clearly pissed – You’ll have to wait for him to learn to control his temper before we allow you to see him again… On the meantime I suggest the phone.

-But… - I wanted to argue.

-I guess you saw Emily´s face today? – He interrupted.

-Yeah… - I said frowning.

-That, princess, is what almost happened to you – He said furious.

-Where are we? – I asked trying to change the subject. I didn´t wanted Paul mad at me… Again, the intensity of his emotions was starting to choke me.

-My place – He said almost sadly, changing his mood instantly and not looking me in the eyes.

-What is it? – I asked worried – Are you Ok?

-Me? I´m perfect princess! – He said forcing his usual arrogant attitude – Go on –He said opening the door and letting me enter first.

The house was pretty much like Jake´s and the rest of the houses of The Reservation, but the exterior looked older than most and quite unkempt, the paint in the walls was faded and the grass was invaded by weeds, like it had been abandoned.

The interior on the other hand, was completely different to what I could have expected looking at the outside. It was extremely clean and organized, which I supposed wasn´t that difficult considering that there were only a few pieces of furniture.

-You live alone? – I asked nervously.

-Yup – He said behind me, very close to my ear.

-What about your family? – I insisted, avoiding the silence.

-I don´t have one and I don´t talk about it – He said coldly.  Talking to him was like walking through a mine field, anything could detonate an explosion.

-Ok then… How old are you? – I asked changing the subject again.

-Twenty two… Why so many questions, princess? – He asked.

-No reason… I just wanted to know… Know you – I said sure of making a mistake. Paul would think that I´m an idiot… I have never been good at small talk and Paul wasn´t trying to make things easier for me… I wished I wad payed more attention to Jessica Stanley and her insufferable blather.

Paul´s eyes got softer for some reason… Maybe I said something right?

-What else do you want to know? – He offered signaling the couch. We sited.

-What do you do? For a living I mean… - I word-vomited. Oh shit! – Sorry, I didn´t mean to be rude – I said mortified.

-Stop stressing about everything princess, it´s Ok. Until recently I was living in Seattle, studying at the Washington University when the… you know, the change, occurred. I had to quit my scholarship and come back to The Reservation to become a protector under Sam´s orders… I suppose it could have been worse, because at least I have a place to live – He said frankly, looking straight into my eyes.

What was exactly what made his stare so overwhelming? It was like a spotlight and I was becoming a rabbit, dazzled and half stupid. I couldn´t hide anything, I wanted to share everything with him… Which was completely unreasonable considering who are we talking about.

-What were you studying? – I continue my interrogation.

-I was starting my fourth year of architecture… And ready to continue with my master´s degree.

-Oh! I´m so sorry… - I couldn´t imagine how it would feel to abandon a scholarship and the profession you love when you are so close to achieve your goals, all to become a vampire-killing supersized dog… So much effort wasted!

Another though came to my head… If Paul had won a scholarship that covered all his expenses and allowed him to live and study in Seattle, maybe he wasn´t stupid after all, just an asshole, but a smart one. Those full scholarships are scarce and there´s lots of competition... I was flooded by a new appreciation for him. He was much more than you could guess from the outside, just like his house.

-Ok princess, enough of me – He said turning his body completely towards me – What about you?

-What about me? I don´ know… What do you want to know? – I asked. My life was pretty public, and I just couldn’t think of anything interesting to say about myself.

-What do you want to do after high school? – He offered.

-I´m not sure, before I wanted to study zoology, because I´m very good at sciences, but now I don´t know… I´m not sure if I want to leave Forks... Ever.

-What ties you to this town? - He asked acting really interested, like he cared or something.

-Charlie – I said maybe too quickly.

 -It´s not just that, princess, don´t lie to me – He said frowning, intimidating, mad once more.

-I… - I felt compelled to tell the truth, no matter how humiliating it was – I don´t want to leave Forks because this is the last place where I felt happy, and I fear that if I go I will lose that feeling forever… - I admitted feeling shattered once again, while a treacherous tear rolled down my cheek.

On one second I was sitting in the edge of the sofa and the next I was on Paul´s lap, my wet face against his warm chest.

-I´m sorry princess, I didn´t meant to make you cry – I said sounding a little choked. Why didn´t he acted this way all the time? Couldn´t he be nice and considerate always?

-It´s Ok, not your fault – I whispered pressing my ear to his heart – I´m the one with the problem, I don´t function right, you know…? I´m broken… I´m sorry…

-Listen to me – He said mad yet again, forcing me to meet his stare – I don´t ever want to hear you say something like that princess, not once! Am I clear?  

-Sorry Paul, but it´s the truth… I´m not fine, and I´m not sure if I will ever work as I´m suppose… - And that was all I could say before Paul´s lips crashed into mine, soft, silky and so warm, smothering my words in a passionate, demanding kiss.

His lips where full and his breath intoxicating…

Of course I had very limited experience, but he moved secure and precise, generating a completely unexpected reaction on me. Instead of push him away and run back to Jake´s or Emily´s, I grabbed his neck and his hair and separated my lips giving him entrance and permission to explore and claim my mouth as he pleased.

We kissed like that for a while, and although his kisses were definitely passionate, he never pressured me to give him more than what I was comfortable to share. We just made out, nothing more, familiarizing with each other´s flavor, smell and touch. 

I could feel Paul´s pecs against my chest every time he relaxed and contracted them with every small movement, and my whole body was starting to react, to come back to the land of the living. That was the first time that someone kissed me like that… Fully, fearless, wildly, freely. 

It was also the first time that I kissed a human male (or well at least a mostly human guy)… And particularly one so experienced… He clearly knew what he was doing and I let myself go, following those delicious sensations and my exciting new feelings, basically just shushing my brain.

Suddenly a strange sound came from Paul´s chest… Like a growl, but lower, and strangely pleasant… Soothing.

-Paul? What´s that? – I asked between kisses and with my eyes tightly shut, almost completely gone, lost in the moment.  

-That little princess, is a wolf purring – He said without letting me go, kissing mi cheeks and neck.

-Oh, is it bad? – I asked paying a bit more attention.

-Oh no, it´s good, very, very good.. – He said sliding the tip of his tongue from the base of my neck to behind my ear.

I trembled and grasped him harder.

-Mmmmmh… - I moaned embarrassedly loud – I like it, you are like on of those vibrating sofas, my dad has one, but his it´s not even half as comfy as you are – I smiled re-accommodating myself to probe my point.

-Oh, so you think you´re funny ugh? – Se said putting a little distance between us to look at me menacingly.

-Yeeep – I answer trying to contain my laughter. For some reason I was like… Half high with endorphins and adrenaline, feeling better than I had felt in I don´t know… Months, maybe more.

I stood up and started to walk in reverse, so I wouldn´t turn my back on him, knowing that he was stalking me, waiting for the right moment to catch me. He was a wolf and I was his prey, we both knew it… And we both like it…

And suddenly he sprang.

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Hope you like it, let me know if it´s worth the effort.

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